Bad Day or Bad ?????

Sometimes I juz cant believe how can ppl b so full of shit! I mean wat they say n wat they do is SO contradicting and they actually expect ppl 2 fall 4 the same shit over n over again??? Well I too admit tat sometimes I’m like tat too…but I try my very best NOT 2 b…Hmm but I don’t wanna state exactly wat happened tat made me so pissed wit certain ppl…I mean I could care less about wat ppl would say about me…But nah I don’t wanna whine tat much here…

I often ask myself y I care so much 4 ppl when I don’t or usually never get the same kind of treatment in return…It’s like this, it’s alright when ppl need u, expect u 2 b there 4 them, do things n stuff 4 them, b the person who actually listens to their problems and constant whining n blah blah blah…But when u expect a little, no maybe some attention and time and a ear from them…They juz disregard u, n maybe say they have no time or they r buzy or whatever shitty excuses tat they can come up wit…But I cant bring myself down to their levels…I mean I sincerely n honestly care 4 most ppl tat I know, without expecting anything in return from them…But I juz wanna know y when I need a favour or something, no one is ever around 2 help me… or listen to me…or even wanna b near me…This makes me so sad sometimes tat I can actually cry becoz of it…to note I actually did cry coz of this kinda shit b4…Even though I alwiz tell myself not to, but well I guess it cant b helped…I may look strong on the outside, but I’m very fragile inside at times…But I must remember tat NO ONE…I repeat to myself NO ONE can or will help me…so I WILL and I MUST depend on myself…Well tat was wat I was thought in my house anyway…Well not thought, more of picked it up myself…Coz no one is here to help me out when I need it…

I must sound rather sad or depressed to ppl coz of this entry…I could b…Maybe juz a little…But I know nothing can b done to change all this…I know 4 sure tat nothing will change 4 the better…The same shit will happen again n again n again…Funny thing though, I know it happens all the time but I still let it bother me sometimes…Well I dun blame myself, I am still human…Hmm maybe I’m juz emotionally deprived sometimes tat I need ppl 2 actually show me affection sometimes…Well I hope I find a source of affection tat will last a lifetime…Coz I sure ain’t getting any affection at home…

Until next time my dear blog…Ciao!!!